I too enjoyed a fine dish or two of paprika hendl, as Mr. Harker did, while journeying to Castle Dracula, but by far the most delectable execution of this cuisine was by the Master himself (who has great skill in dismemberment and skewering, both inside the kitchen and out).
I would be most remiss if I did not share His recipe with you here.
- Chicken (live)
- Olive oil
- Garlic (just kidding!)
- Whole red peppers
- Tomato juice (or other red substance)
- Lightly sauté chopped onions in oil until brown.
- Blend paprika and tomato juice with onions.
- Cover the pot, and let it simmer on low heat for 1 hour.
- At this point, the chicken should be attracted to the smell of simmering stew. When chicken is least suspecting, ladle sauce over it.
- Wrestle struggling chicken into pot.
- Stuff screaming chicken with red peppers.
- Massage sauce into struggling chicken.
- Bite head off chicken and devour still-beating heart.
- Slice up corpse and serve to horrified company.